Showing posts from April, 2012

Last Day

April 19th, two weeks ago today I went in and handed a letter to my supervisor at work that stated, my new job title and it wasn't RN. It was MOMMY!! This goodbye is bittersweet, though, work was a struggle for me I had grown to like and enjoy most of the people I worked with and I will miss them. On the other hand, I was extremely disappointed with how much modern obstetrics man-handled laboring women. I was also astounded by how many women complain so much to their doctor in order to be induced.

I'm sorry but now I can say it, I have been pregnant before and I realize I was a rare breed that never got tired of being pregnant but even if I had I know that the best thing for my baby is to wait for him/her to come on their own and hearing and taking care of women who constantly were thinking more about how uncomfortable they were and less about what is best for their baby got very emotionally taxing and I won't miss that part of my job.

A small part of me is also slightly …

Three Months

So wow, our girl is three months old, slow down little girl! She's getting so big. We haven't had another appointment yet (not until 4 months) but we're guessing she weighs like 14 lbs. She's our little chunk. She still continues to eat every 1-1.5 hr in the day time, however, when she goes to bed she sleeps anywhere from 5-7 hrs. She's getting so much more expressive it's so fun to watch her grow. She smiles all the time now. At 9 weeks she began drooling like crazy and now at 14 weeks she is nawing on everything, we'll see if some teethe are on their way. She is beginning to grab at things and put them in her mouth.
Life has been a lot more exciting since we began taking her out. Lessons learned, she's easily overstimulated. We've learned when out, to eat fast and have the check ready in case she starts screaming inconsolably, which has only happened once ;). I know it's only been three months but Maggie is so apart of our family we can't…

Thoughts on Motherhood

Let's see if I can put my thoughts into words. So, like many new moms, I fell right into the performance trap. I wanted to do everything just right. Then finally, I am beginning to realize "right" is different for everybody. What might work for one momma doesn't work for another. In the first few weeks, I found myself scared nervous and unsure of what I had just gotten myself into. I guess in ways I thought baby would come and I would be perfect at everything, ha! What a joke. So, Maggie was about 2.5 weeks old and I began to worry. I was still struggling with some baby blues and I had been told that if baby blues last beyond 2 weeks to call the provider because it could be post partum depression, which the idea of that struck fear in my heart.

I cried out to God for mercy. I was so confused and conflicted. I expected my heart to instantly change the moment Maggie was born and it didn't. I expected to feel this instantaneous bond with her and truth be told, it di…