Showing posts from 2015


Can I brutally honest about something? I'm failing miserably. I pin and read multiple articles about real food and organic food and I'm doing great at dinner time but I failing miserably at lunch and snacks. I do okay for the kids but for myself I just grab whatever is easiest. Also, I know his heart is right but hubby keeps bringing the above home to me and I just can't resist. I love peanut butter cups. I know I know, there is awful stuff in them and I shouldn't be eating them. I accept this. I'm embarrassed. I want to be doing better for myself. Especially because I'm likely about to find out this is month number 6 of not getting pregnant. I'm beginning to feel scared that all my little terrible snacks and not so healthy lunches may be contributing to my not getting pregnant. 
I'm kind of reeling right now. We conceived in May and baby didn't make it so I actually know for once what it is like to lose a child. My heart is so broken for mommies w…

Sorry, need to rant.


I had some of this typed out on my Facebook and then realized I was going on a rant and should probably just post it here.

My heart is so deeply saddened right now. I opened my page today to find a video of a live baby having it's brains cut out! How is this even remotely possible?!?!?! Planned Parenthood, I pray the righteous anger and justice of my God to avenge you. I know God loves them too and thank God He's God because I can't even believe what people will do for money. That is a living soul. I pray that God takes those poor babies to heaven before they are able to feel any pain! It seriously just sickens me.

The second thing topping my feed is Ashley Madison. Yes it is appalling and an absolute shock that some celebrities or heck even your own friends or co-workers emails are on there but can we talk frankly? Why in the world is there even a website like this. Their moto is "life is short. have an affair." Are you stinking kidding me?!??!? My hands …

My Toxic Life

Oh me oh my,

I've been on this real food journey for a while. My ability to feed my family real food is limited to my budget but I do the best I can to feed my family whole organic foods. I'm frequently frightened to see what's in our food. Even feeding my family healthfully. Like say chicken breast instead of chicken nuggets, my chicken has arsenic and the chickens are fed GMO feed? Are you kidding me? Well, thank God for Costco that is where I get my organic meat it's not pasture fed but it's the best I can afford.

Recently, I was taking a prenatal vitamin and after I swallowed it I thought, I wonder what the ingredients are, after all I take this so when we conceive again (hopefully) that my folic acid level is healthy and whatnot, well come to find out my vitamins since they aren't organic are full of toxins. Eesh.

Nearly three months ago I looked at what's in my shampoo, yikes. Thus began my "no shampoo" journey. So far, I'm washing my h…

Big Day

In the morning we take Maggie into the clinic for counts.

If you follow her caring bridge then you know we just got out of an 8 day hospital stay. We were finally able to leave once her ANC recovered.

When we left the hospital a week ago tomorrow her ANC was 319. Tomorrow it needs to be 750 with platelets of 75 in order to start maintenance.

If she meets counts tomorrow, we start the next and final phase of treatment. It's also the phase of treatment that gives our family some freedom. Especially the kids and I. Daddy still gets to get out of the house and work every day. I'm not trying to have my hopes too high but if she meets counts my little family and I could be going to church as a family for the first time in 9 months.

I can take my kids grocery shopping. I can take them to reading time at the library. I can take them to the splash pad to cool off. I'm anxiously awaiting the days we can get out and live a little. But for now we wait. Good night all.

Garden update

So my garden is growing. I'm beginning to think that my planting zucchini in the bags wasn't a good idea. I don't think the bags are draining very well and the plants are not looking healthy at all. I planted a back up seed the other day ( I know it's late) but I just can't go all summer without zucchini so it's possible my experiment will fail.

I've had BIG problems with birds. They have eaten the tops off of 5 plants now. Three of them I replaced. At least now, my plants are big enough that even if eaten that won't be the end.

Gardening, love and hate relationship. I love the organic produce and satisfaction of growing something myself. I hate the pests. Especially this years birds. Giving me a lot anguish this year. Oh well.

At least my tomatoes are doing well. Can't wait to start eating some homegrown tomatoes. Until next time.

Craft update

Hey All,

Just wanted to update my blog and I have time tonight so I'm writing three updates. I do the best I can.

I have kept with my commitment to do one craft per month. So far, they have all been crochet but at least it's something.

In March, I made my new baby nephew and baby blanket. It was a new pattern and worked up fairly quickly. I'm happy with the result and the my brother and sister love, loved the blanket as well so I'm happy.



Guess what? Eli is still 12 months old for 1 hr and 20 min. I'm going to get this post done before then. :)

Our boy is 1! This year had gone by so fast and so has he. He's been flying through milestones since 4 months old. He sat up at 4 months, army crawled at 5 months, crawled at 7 months pulled himself up at 8 months, walked at 10 months and is now running and climbing at 12 months. Slow down my sweet boy. I think his answer would be fat chance momma! Ha! He's extremely active. He keeps me on my toes, I thought Maggie kept me on my toes but he really really does. His ability to get places so quickly and to fall and hurt himself amaze me.

He's all boy. He loves to rough house. He loves outside. He loves water both the kiddie pool outside and bath time. He loves trucks and cars. He recently discovered ants and thinks they are pretty cool to watch. He likes to "help" me garden by tasting the soil and the leaves from my plants.

He's the polar opposi…


Yes, it's 12:06 am and I should be sleeping because I have to up in 5 hours to go right back to the hospital so Tim can get back to the East Valley and be to work on time, however; I need to decompress and tonight you all are my outlet.

We have been through so much. You all know about Maggie what you may not know is my mom is battling stage 4 breast cancer. Lord willing and we're believing for complete healing for my mom but it's still incredibly difficult when one of the people you lean on and go to and find so strong is in such a fragile state. I was just talking with my dad today and we both agree that nothing about life seems easy right now. Not that life should be easy but it is beginning to feel like the hits keep coming.

Tonight Maggie received her final IV chemo for this phase of treatment. The next phase is called maintenance and frankly it's what we've been looking forward to since we learned of Maggie's illness 9 long months ago. In maintenance we ca…

Garden and coverlet update

Will update as my little garden gets go Hey all, got tomatoes transplanted into my garden today. 3 of the 5 should do well. The other two Eli got a hold of them and threw them on the ground out of their cups so we'll see if they survive. I planted zuchinis as well in bags this year are of it will work and take up less space in my raised bed. I will start hardening off my peppers tomorrow. 
Eli dumping out mommys plants. Oops. 

I will update as my little garden gets going. I've also done okay with my crochet squares. Got a little off schedule since I lost my hook for a day then was just too exhausted from kiddos not letting me sleep. But here they are finished the yellow flowers now working on the blue. One color down. Three to go. Stayed tuned. Goodnight. 

Craft Updates

Hey all! 
I may be doing awful at keeping up with this blog but I have kept up with my goal of one craft per month. Without further ado:

Working in March:  
Making this for a friend and I'm so excited!
I won't have it all done but I'll have all the squares done. All 126 of them! Okay that's enough for tonight. Goodnight all!

Life Update

Bummer! It's been over a month since I last posted, ugh, how does that happen? Oh well, here is life right now. We'll start with Maggie, Maggie is in her final phase of treatment before she reaches maintenance. Maintenance is the phase of treatment we're told where life can begin to feel normal again. Maggie should be able to go to the nursery at church. Prayerfully I can return to my Bible study. I hope that I can resume my moms group as well. But all of this is contingent upon her reaching this phase.

The phase of treatment she's in is called delayed intensification and so far it's pretty unpleasant. Maggie just finished her second round of steroids and this time she is craving constipating foods. It's nigh impossible to get a steroidal toddler to eat anything besides what she wants. So here we sit going on day three of crying and pain from constipation compounded by other medications giving her side effects it's been a pretty hard week. Prayerfully, sinc…


So I have been awful about updating about the kids. The last time I did was 3 months ago, oops. Life happens always but when your kid is in the hospital every couple weeks it takes it outta you and I'll be honest keeping up with this blog was last on my list.

Without further ado...Maggie is 3! Wow! From her appearance she looks much like a little girl and less like a toddler. Not sure if that is cancer/chemo related or just the transition from 2-3. My sweet baby has gone through more in the last 6 months than I ever would have believed or wanted. She continues to chug along. She's gotten taller, her little hands together on her tippy toes can reach very far onto my counters. She is very capable and always has been but now she knows just how capable she can be.

Her hair has begun to grow back and it's still red and her personality matches that fiery red hair. She's got sass already. Lord help me. She's avidly learning no and I don't want to. Power struggles hav…

Garden plan continued...

Finished my garden plan diagram! Sorry, I'm a little excited about my summer garden. After last year, I'm going to grow my zucchini in garden bags to free up some space in my beds. I learned valuable lessons about sun direction and shading last year and so my tomatoes will be on the other side of my big bed. Hope it helps. Will also try to grow all my corn in my 4x4 bed. Started my seeds, waiting for them to sprout. That's enough for now.

Summer Garden 2015

Diagram coming soon, but I planted my the beginning of my summer garden yesterday. Can't wait for fresh grown tomatoes and peppers. Will post a picture and my diagram when they are finished. Working on a couple craft projects. Will post them when they are done. Also, it's day 12 and the kids are still doing well. Prayer is still very much appreciated. Goodnight.

Overwhelming Week and Productive Saturday

Well, if you didn't know who I was before you probably do by now. This week began with a phone call Sunday night that would quarantine my kids for the next 2.5 weeks. My kids were exposed to measles at the PCH clinic last week. Which means in order to protect the rest of the world we will be keeping the kids contained until February 11th.

I want to go on record to say for my interview with CNN I wish I had said things a little differently. I don't want to ever say things as harshly as I did on CNN. I do wish that the people who exposed my kids would have used better judgment and stayed home until after recently visiting measles capital of the world but they didn't and I didn't think to temper my words.

So here goes...the truth...I've never let myself explore my honest opinion about vaccines. My husband is a pediatrician and I pick my battles in my marriage and that is one I wasn't willing to explore. I feared researching and not liking what I found then having …

Upcoming Posts

Well, here I go again. I've been awful with this blog. I have many many reasons, good reasons, mind you for not keeping up with it. However; I'd like to write more and I think having this blog as a sort of accountability for keeping up certain things in my life.

I'd like to think of it as a sort of online journal if you will. I'm in a phase of life right now where I think the accountability of remembering to write and also the release of feelings good or bad would be therapeutic.

I will continue to write about the kids at least monthly if not more. I also want to journal Maggie's journey through her momma's eyes. I'm getting ready to start my spring garden. I'm making it a personal goal to continue to learn to sew and craft so I'm trying to do one project per month. I also would like to be brutally honest about some of my goals for myself personally and see if I can improve in some areas. I've also started the long, informative and tedious adven…