Thoughts on Motherhood

Let's see if I can put my thoughts into words. So, like many new moms, I fell right into the performance trap. I wanted to do everything just right. Then finally, I am beginning to realize "right" is different for everybody. What might work for one momma doesn't work for another. In the first few weeks, I found myself scared nervous and unsure of what I had just gotten myself into. I guess in ways I thought baby would come and I would be perfect at everything, ha! What a joke. So, Maggie was about 2.5 weeks old and I began to worry. I was still struggling with some baby blues and I had been told that if baby blues last beyond 2 weeks to call the provider because it could be post partum depression, which the idea of that struck fear in my heart.

I cried out to God for mercy. I was so confused and conflicted. I expected my heart to instantly change the moment Maggie was born and it didn't. I expected to feel this instantaneous bond with her and truth be told, it didn't. I loved her of this for sure! I just expected so much more. I expected to be so overjoyed by our new baby I was beyond disappointed in myself when I found myself overwhelmed, scared and insecure. I felt so afraid that I was doing everything "all wrong" and that Maggie was going to have problems because of me. Feeling like a horrible mother, I got online to see if there were any books out there for new moms and God led me to these two.



These two books ministered to my heart so much. Life with Baby is a great resource. It goes over everything and the author gives you her take on what worked for her babies. This book to me was great from a practical facts point of view. It helped me realize that all the things I was feeling were completely normal. What a relief! I wasn't an awful mother, I was normal, hallelujah! 

Nourishment for New Moms was my favorite. It provides practical advice but also encourages mom's to give themselves abundant grace and to seek Jesus for all their needs. I loved this book so much I may just read it all over again. One thing that I loved especially about this book was all the scriptures that correlated with new mom's fears and uncertainties. I don't know about you, but scriptures help me fight off my propensity to negative thoughts and self degradation. 

Well, that is all I have to say about this, I hope I navigated my thoughts well and I hope if any new moms end up feeling this way they will find my blog and read this two books. Until next time ;).

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