Random Ramblings
Well,
Here I am 36 weeks pregnant and I just have to laugh at myself, otherwise I would likely cry. I'm beginning to think that the joke is on me carrying a baby this low. No matter how faithful I've been with kegals, if I sneeze and my bladder has anything in it, I pee myself. Talk about embarrassing. This morning, I sneezed and just that such a thing happened. Well, after I had just peed, so my bladder should be empty right?! I'm walking over to get new underwear and thanks to my cold I have a coughing attack. Oi vey. I have a whole new respect for women that carry so low. It is uncomfortable to say the least. I'm told though that labor should go fairly quickly so there are some positives.
Next time I decide it's a good idea to go pick 75 lbs of tangerines for canning at 34 weeks pregnant and a fussy teething and sick toddler, someone please stop me. HA! I've reached a new level of funny with thinking I have the ability to do what normal people do at this stage in pregnancy. Should have seen me tonight, planting my garden and not being able to squat or move in the right way. Seriously, I almost fell in tonight. Like I said have to laugh.
I have a whole new appreciation for anyone on their second child. I gave little to no merit to how tough it is. I was actually just reflecting tonight, how before Maggie was born we could easily go two weeks of not sweeping the kitchen. I swept tonight and it's only been a few days and it was awful. Now I know baby could come anytime in the next 3-4 weeks and I'm wondering how I'm going to try and keep up with the kitchen and not let the floor become overwhelming before the baby comes. It's pretty comical and just trying to get low enough to have the dustpan reach the broom. I can't believe how tired I am and how every day things are such a chore right now. I'm told it's normal but I'm feeling very inadequate. I guess just another way for me to extend grace to myself.
All this being said, I feel like I still have so much I would like to do before baby comes. So when people ask me if I'm done being pregnant the thought in my head is a screaming NO. I'm excited and anxious that we'll have another little person in this family in another month. I'm not done being pregnant at all. I adore feeling this baby inside. Kicking me and reassuring me he/she is fine. I have always had a motto to try and never complain about pregnancy and this pregnancy has put that to the test and sadly I think I've failed. I would still do anything for this baby and my thoughts stand on being induced for discomfort but I think with as hard as this pregnancy has been on me physically this time around I have complained some and I'm sad to say it. I am glad too though that this pregnancy has gone this way because A. it builds compassion and grace in me for women that have a pregnancy like this, meaning carrying low and feeling fairly sick most of pregnancy and B. it adjusts my expectations for any future children. I'm very glad for B because I won't have these starry dreams about being pregnant chasing other small children. I will have realistic expectations and then I think my thoughts about myself in this process will be more positive as well.
Pheww, that was a brainful, I know I was ugly blunt, hope it didn't offend anyone. I was trying to convey the comedy in it all. That's all I have for now.
Here I am 36 weeks pregnant and I just have to laugh at myself, otherwise I would likely cry. I'm beginning to think that the joke is on me carrying a baby this low. No matter how faithful I've been with kegals, if I sneeze and my bladder has anything in it, I pee myself. Talk about embarrassing. This morning, I sneezed and just that such a thing happened. Well, after I had just peed, so my bladder should be empty right?! I'm walking over to get new underwear and thanks to my cold I have a coughing attack. Oi vey. I have a whole new respect for women that carry so low. It is uncomfortable to say the least. I'm told though that labor should go fairly quickly so there are some positives.
Next time I decide it's a good idea to go pick 75 lbs of tangerines for canning at 34 weeks pregnant and a fussy teething and sick toddler, someone please stop me. HA! I've reached a new level of funny with thinking I have the ability to do what normal people do at this stage in pregnancy. Should have seen me tonight, planting my garden and not being able to squat or move in the right way. Seriously, I almost fell in tonight. Like I said have to laugh.
I have a whole new appreciation for anyone on their second child. I gave little to no merit to how tough it is. I was actually just reflecting tonight, how before Maggie was born we could easily go two weeks of not sweeping the kitchen. I swept tonight and it's only been a few days and it was awful. Now I know baby could come anytime in the next 3-4 weeks and I'm wondering how I'm going to try and keep up with the kitchen and not let the floor become overwhelming before the baby comes. It's pretty comical and just trying to get low enough to have the dustpan reach the broom. I can't believe how tired I am and how every day things are such a chore right now. I'm told it's normal but I'm feeling very inadequate. I guess just another way for me to extend grace to myself.
All this being said, I feel like I still have so much I would like to do before baby comes. So when people ask me if I'm done being pregnant the thought in my head is a screaming NO. I'm excited and anxious that we'll have another little person in this family in another month. I'm not done being pregnant at all. I adore feeling this baby inside. Kicking me and reassuring me he/she is fine. I have always had a motto to try and never complain about pregnancy and this pregnancy has put that to the test and sadly I think I've failed. I would still do anything for this baby and my thoughts stand on being induced for discomfort but I think with as hard as this pregnancy has been on me physically this time around I have complained some and I'm sad to say it. I am glad too though that this pregnancy has gone this way because A. it builds compassion and grace in me for women that have a pregnancy like this, meaning carrying low and feeling fairly sick most of pregnancy and B. it adjusts my expectations for any future children. I'm very glad for B because I won't have these starry dreams about being pregnant chasing other small children. I will have realistic expectations and then I think my thoughts about myself in this process will be more positive as well.
Pheww, that was a brainful, I know I was ugly blunt, hope it didn't offend anyone. I was trying to convey the comedy in it all. That's all I have for now.
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