My Parenting Conviction=Positive Parenting
So, I've been thinking about this post for a few weeks now. Our little Henry is super fussy and I'm amazed at how a fussy babe can just eat up an entire day and before you realize it, it's three weeks since you blogged. This post will be long and detailed and I believe will need to take place in multiple entries,we'll see.
My decision to seek a more gentle and grace based parenting style came after my first revelation of grace through books like TrueFaced with John Lynch and Grace Walk by Steve McVey. I knew I wanted to do something different than what I had experienced in my own life and what I believe is the commonly accepted and promoted Christian style of parenting, my husbands preference, authoritative. I didn't understand how to do this but I knew I wanted to do something different. I started with Loving Our Kids On Purpose by Danny Silk. It helped to understand some of the concrete day to day ways to implement natural consequences and to put your relationship with your child above their behavior. I loved the concept but it was still pretty murky for me. All of this was happening during our first pregnancy and Maggie's first year of life.
Fast forward a year and half, I had been in counseling for about that long when the truth of how shame affected me and my life's decisions. I began to realize the toxic environment shame was to live in and I wanted out. My counselor recommended a book called Released from Shame by Sandra Wilson. This book gave me such specifics of how shame has molded me and shaped me into the adult I am today. Roots that were planted years ago that are the tree that was my lack of self worth and hate for myself. Deep seeded lies that have perpetuated a fear driven life.
Once I was finally able to see the lies and replace them with truths through Christ and how His love has already taken all my faults and made me perfect in His sight, I was able to grow in my walk with freedom and love. Having this truth be revealed to me, has changed the way I see myself and my children. If the God of the universe loves me so perfectly and that revelation has changed me and my life so positively, without consequence and punishment and shame then I know with God's help I can parent my kids with that same grace and loving kindness that he does with me. For more of this story, stay tuned...
My decision to seek a more gentle and grace based parenting style came after my first revelation of grace through books like TrueFaced with John Lynch and Grace Walk by Steve McVey. I knew I wanted to do something different than what I had experienced in my own life and what I believe is the commonly accepted and promoted Christian style of parenting, my husbands preference, authoritative. I didn't understand how to do this but I knew I wanted to do something different. I started with Loving Our Kids On Purpose by Danny Silk. It helped to understand some of the concrete day to day ways to implement natural consequences and to put your relationship with your child above their behavior. I loved the concept but it was still pretty murky for me. All of this was happening during our first pregnancy and Maggie's first year of life.
Fast forward a year and half, I had been in counseling for about that long when the truth of how shame affected me and my life's decisions. I began to realize the toxic environment shame was to live in and I wanted out. My counselor recommended a book called Released from Shame by Sandra Wilson. This book gave me such specifics of how shame has molded me and shaped me into the adult I am today. Roots that were planted years ago that are the tree that was my lack of self worth and hate for myself. Deep seeded lies that have perpetuated a fear driven life.
Once I was finally able to see the lies and replace them with truths through Christ and how His love has already taken all my faults and made me perfect in His sight, I was able to grow in my walk with freedom and love. Having this truth be revealed to me, has changed the way I see myself and my children. If the God of the universe loves me so perfectly and that revelation has changed me and my life so positively, without consequence and punishment and shame then I know with God's help I can parent my kids with that same grace and loving kindness that he does with me. For more of this story, stay tuned...
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