Torn

Hey there bloggers,

If you read my previous post you know we're pregnant! Yay! Most of you know that once Maggie's first birthday had come and gone and I still didn't have a period I began trying to partially wean her in order to get pregnant again. The only reason I partially weaned her was to get pregnant no other reason.

Well, here we are pregnant and as far as I know everything is going well. I am continuing to nurse her twice daily. However; a wrench has been thrown into this mix. Three weeks ago our girl was sick and I let her nurse whenever she wanted for comfort and now she wants to nurse all the time. When I say no our girl throws tantrums. I know tantrums are coming and I'm not looking forward to them. I feel terrible in that she is having tantrums because of not being able to nurse. It goes against my instincts big time. All the research I've done says it is safe to nurse during pregnancy. Truly we have our first midwife appointment in two days and if everything is okay and the midwife assures me I may just revert from nursing her twice and day back to whenever. It just feels so unnatural to say no. Also, I feel like I brought on the tantrums because I started partially weaning her and then confused her when I let her nurse whenever when she was sick.

My heart is so torn. My instincts tell me nurse her. I feel she is throwing tantrums because she is simply not ready for less nursing yet. I've always followed my instincts with mothering. I've read a lot of books but haven't adopted one way of doing things. I do whatever my heart tells me and my heart is telling me that she isn't ready for this. So for any of you momma's who can relate would you pray with me? That I know and decide what is best for me, the new baby and our sweet girl? thanks!

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