Why?

Yes, it's 12:06 am and I should be sleeping because I have to up in 5 hours to go right back to the hospital so Tim can get back to the East Valley and be to work on time, however; I need to decompress and tonight you all are my outlet.

We have been through so much. You all know about Maggie what you may not know is my mom is battling stage 4 breast cancer. Lord willing and we're believing for complete healing for my mom but it's still incredibly difficult when one of the people you lean on and go to and find so strong is in such a fragile state. I was just talking with my dad today and we both agree that nothing about life seems easy right now. Not that life should be easy but it is beginning to feel like the hits keep coming.

Tonight Maggie received her final IV chemo for this phase of treatment. The next phase is called maintenance and frankly it's what we've been looking forward to since we learned of Maggie's illness 9 long months ago. In maintenance we can go back to church as a family. I can return to my Bible study. I can restart my mom's group with my mommy friends. I can take my babies grocery shopping with me. We can leave the house! Supposedly this part of treatment is when life "should" become more manageable. Not as many clinic visits. Counts should be high enough to enjoy life again.

I am trying to be grateful but tonight, tonight I'm struggling. Maggie is infected with C-Diff. It is treatable (thank you Lord) but it could also entail a 7-10 day hospital stay. This is supposed to be the end of this intense part of treatment and here we are hospitalized again. I'm separated from my family again. Eli and I are at home and Tim and Maggie are at the hospital. I'm just going to ask this question and mourn a little this evening. Why? Why couldn't this fever have been nothing? Why does she have to have an infection? Life is challenging enough right now without having to have Mags in the hospital. Ok, rant over. Thank you Heavenly Lord on High that we know about the infection and that there is treatment. Please Lord let her little body respond to treatment. I think that's enough for tonight. I know I still have a few faithful readers and I'm grateful for you. Please pray for my precious Maggie. Goodnight.

Comments

Scott and Sarah Nichols said…
We pray for your precious Maggie every night, and your family. We will add your mom to the list too. So sorry friend, I know life must seem so very heavy right now. Just know you are being interceded for from Tucson!
April 9, 2015 at 7:26 AM
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