Marriage Monday



Well, as per my new "schedule" it's Monday and I'm focusing on working on my marriage. You may know this you may not but hubby and I are finally in real marriage counseling. Truth be told, we needed this kind of professional help for years but instead went to "mentors" who were free. Not a bad thing but hubby and I need more help than those people can provide.

I won't speak for my husband but I know that I was so completely unaware of myself and my feelings and my lack of self worth that I allowed myself to be pushed around and controlled by my husbands strong personality and desires. Unfortunately, I didn't realize how much this was affecting me until around year 3 of our marriage. Since then I've been in counseling and working on myself. It's been a long journey full of peaks and valleys. I've been through major healing through prayer and I've made many improvements. That being said, hubby and I continue to have our issues. Sadly, I think most of that blame falls on me. He has his part don't get me wrong but I resent him most of the time because he can't read my mind and tell when his words have hurt me and I fear his rejection more than I value my thoughts, desires and opinions.

Most recently, in counseling, we did temperament tests. We couldn't be more opposite. Our counselor says we have a unique opportunity filled with hope to make changes in our marriage that will make us a much more effective couple. I frankly am discouraged that we are POLAR opposites. I could have told you I suspected that but now it's confirmed. Oh well, I drudge on.

Hubby is a compulsive introvert per this temperament test. Hence the book title up above. That is our assignment for the next few weeks. I have 19 days to read this book with three little ones and a fussy babe. Good luck to me. I began it today and so far the author is simply discovering that it's okay to be introverted, At least that is as far as I've gotten. My strategy right now is to try and learn more about my husband so I can resent him less at least for things he does because of his personality. Stay tuned to see how far I get before next week.


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